Headline: STOP DOOM SCROLLING! WE HAVE A HOLIDAY MIRACLE!
It is officially the holiday season and we are vibrating with excitement to announce the BEST deal we have ever offered to the general public (or the specific public).
Introducing the First Edition "DOZEN QUEST PUNCH CARD" from @sidequestarcade!
For the low, low price of just one single, lonely $100 bill, you gain access to 1 DOZEN QUESTS (visits) to the arcade!
Do you have a gamer in your life who lives in DFW and is impossible to shop for? Problem solved.
Do you want to achieve "Legendary Status" by carrying a limited edition card in your wallet that screams "I know where the fun is"? Buy this.
Do you hate money and love video games? We can help.
FAQ: The "Side Quest Arcade Limited Edition Dozen Visit Punch Card" (SQLAVPC for short... okay, maybe not).
Q: CAN I BUY THIS OVER THE PHONE? A: Negative, Ghost Rider. As of right now, you have to leave your house and come to the arcade or hop on your handy dandy electronic device visit our website at www.sidequestarcade.com to purchase one of these amazing cards, These cards are a limited run of 200 and only available while supplies last!
Q: I DON'T WANT A PUNCH CARD FOR 12 VISITS TO THE ARCADE, I JUST CAME HERE TO READ THE CAPTION. A: Well... hello. This is awkward. Do you come here often?
Q: CAN I USE MORE THAN ONE PUNCH IN A VISIT? A: YES! If you have 2+ people, you can absolutely use multiple punches.
Bring a date? Two punches.
Bring the whole squad? Many punches.
Bring 13 people? You’re gonna need a second card and a much bigger vehicle (like a bus, or a clown car).
Q: WHAT HAPPENS IF I LOSE THE CARD? A: Treat this card like cold, hard cash (or your grandmother’s secret cookie recipe). If you lose it, it’s gone forever. We will weep with you, but we cannot replace it.
Q: IS THIS ACTUALLY A GOOD DEAL? A: Does a bear game in the woods? YES. This is the best deal of your life. Think of the memories! Think of the glory! Warning: Purchasing this gift for a relative ensures you will be the favorite. Sorry, Aunt Sue, you’ve been dethroned.
Q: CAN I USE IT IMMEDIATELY? A: YAS. Instant gratification is our middle name. You can buy it and walk right in.
Q: EXACTLY HOW MANY VISITS IS A "DOZEN"? A: We ran the numbers, and it comes out to roughly 12.
Q: CAN I BUY MORE THAN ONE? A: You can buy as many as your heart desires because, quite frankly, we enjoy saying "Yes" to money.
Q: DOES IT EXPIRE? A: As long as Side Quest Arcade has breath in its lungs (or electricity in its outlets), your card is valid. Plus, since this is the First Edition, holding onto it makes you an OG. You can show it to your grandkids one day to prove you were cool before it was cool.
See you at the Arcade!